Even here in Canada, we have credit cards.
Oh sure, we use them for hockey bats and curling nets, but we've got them.
And we hate them, just like Americans.
Well – scratch that – I suppose we have a love/hate relationship with them. They allow us to buy things we could never normally afford, and probably shouldn't ever buy. They're great at the beginning of the month, and horrible at the end (insert terrible female-related joke here).
But we all have them. And frankly, I was willing to deal with their ridiculous interest rates and ever-increasing limits, combined with their fun card names. A "platypus emerald executive-class card"? Sign me up!
I could even live with the "cheques" they would periodically send, which inherently assumed I was stupid enough to believe that credit card money was "real" money.
Seriously. I could live with all of that. I'm a patient man.
But then it happened. A nice, plain-white letter from Capital One MasterCard arrived. I've had a MasterCard with them for, oh, four or five years now, at least. I didn't use it for much, always keep it paid off, etc. It was nice to have around if I needed it and – here's the important part –
it had no yearly fee.
So, this letter arrives and I open it, expecting more cheques to shred. But oh no. Instead, I have a letter which states that if I don't respond by such-and-such a day, my card will automatically become a fee-per-year card.
Say what now?
So if I do nothing, just leave things as they are, I will suddenly start being charged money? I have to contact them directly to prevent them from automatically taking money from my wallet and shoving it into their greedy maw?
Oh, and the best part? It was to "serve me better". Yeah, I totally buy that. If there's one industry known for its charity and dedication to service, its the credit industry. For sure.
So, needless to say, I did call. There was a chat, mostly involving yours truly informing the good people at MasterCard that Canadians don't respond well to threats or ultimatums. I'd have threatened them in return with a peacekeeping mission, but I doubt Canada has the numbers to entirely surround the MasterCard head office.
The card got cancelled, and the day was won.
But then I got to thinking. Who else have they done this to, that either didn't call or didn't notice, and is now getting charged a fee? Who else have they crushed under the plastic-coated, number-encrusted boot heel of their oppression?
Frankly, I have no idea, but its time for another letter.
