A Letter Sent...

Apparently does actually equal a letter returned.

Canadaland studios has in fact received a reply from Western Family Foods (more universally known as Overwaitea – which is a hilarious name for a chain of grocery stores, by the way) which is deeply personal and moving.

Or not.

It's an excellent example of a stereotypical form letter, nicely accentuated with what appears to be an actual ink signature. Fancy!

Below is the letter in all of its white bond paper glory, so please enjoy.


The text should be readable if you click on the image, but if it isn't or you don't feel like taking the effort (wow, way to be lazy), here's a transcript:

Overwaitea Food Group

December 22, 2009

Dear Aletterfromcanadaland,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us in regards to our advertising on our Western Family products. We take great pride in our products and always appreciate customer feedback.

Comments have been very positive regarding our product; our continued goal is to provide quality products that meet or exceed our customer's expectations. Hopefully you will continue to enjoy our Western Family items for many years to come.

Once again, thanks for positive feedback. If you have any further comments or questions, please do not hesitate to contact us directly by phone 1 800 242-9229 or by email at customer_service@owfg.com

Sincerely,

Pam, customer service

A few notes on this thing. First, I can't believe my parents named me Aletterfromcanadaland either. What are the chances?

Second, it doesn't look like a job offer to work in their product promotions department is coming my way anytime soon. Oh, they briefly allude to the fact that I wasn't happy with their product and that they disagreed – "comments have been very positive regarding our product" – but that's just their way of saying "you're stupid".

What I quite enjoy is how they thank me for my "positive feedback". I wasn't positive. At all.

My intent wasn't to be negative, either, merely constructive. Slightly offensively constructive, for certain, but constructive none the less. I was in no way excited or positive about their product. Everyone I've spoken to about these cookies agrees they have a terrible name, and honestly, I've never met anyone whose actually eaten them. Take that, "comments have been very positive"!!

Overall, I'm happy with this response, since it fulfills both of the criteria I was looking for.

1) It's a response. 2) It's formulaic, and therefore hilarious. That's what we call a win-win here at Canadaland studios.