Cloverdale Paint - The Letter

To Whom it May Concern,

I am writing to you on behalf of consumers across this great nation of ours who may have encountered your strange and utterly unfathomable "two-part epoxy policy".

From what I understand, your stores currently adhere to a policy which will not allow them to sell quantities of two-part epoxy to the general public as it is "too volatile".

I've done my homework, via the Interwebs, and strangely I don't see a great many "child dies in preventable epoxy accident" or "man's face melts off while using store-bought epoxy" articles.

Hmm.

But hey, perhaps your company was simply trying to be responsible – to actively prevent any harm from coming to your customers, despite a lack of any real danger. Commendable!

But...wait.

It appears to be that policy of your stores is to refuse to sell the epoxy to an individual, but for a company, it's "how much would you like? Three truckloads? Yessir, right away sir!"

This wouldn't be a particular problem, except your individual customers are being given company forms, with a choice of either a cash or credit sale and told if they simply fill them out, they can have all the epoxy they want, all the time.

So....let's just think this whole thing through.

Customers who want to buy epoxy. Check!

Epoxy being dangerous. Check! (sort of)

Refusal to sell anyone except a company epoxy. Check!

Simple forms to fill out so anyone can create a fake company and buy gallons of (supposedly dangerous) epoxy? Check?

Honestly, Cloverdale, way to download responsibility on to the customer. "Hey!", you can say now, "We had no idea Al-Queda Contracting and Demolition was up to anything untoward! They had the company credit form all filled out!".

And really, how could you be responsible if "I hate my ex-wife and want to blow up her house using epoxy, Inc. (TM)" had purchased ten gallons of epoxy and done just that? I mean, they had a cash form filled out, for crying out loud!

Two-part epoxy is easily purchasable at other supply stores, and without the same rigmarole that takes place at Cloverdale. As a safety measure, this policy is ridiculous, and as a responsibility dump onto the consumer, it's laughable.

Just sell the epoxy, Cloverdale – it's that damn paint thinner that's really the trouble, anyway – that crap is dangerous.

Someone should probably make a form.

Warmest Regards,

Letter Sent 5:17pm Dec 15th, 2009

Cloverdale Paint - The Incident

This one comes from a friend of mine, who was trying to purchase some two-part epoxy which is, you know, for epoxying stuff.

He had intially tried going to Home Depot, which is a whole seperate incident and chain of letters in and of itself. Seriously - if you're going to wear a smock that says "You can do it, we can help", you should probaby know, oh, lets say – where the hell stuff is in the store.

It would go a looong way toward that whole "I can help" concept, rather than it being an "I can stare dumbly at you while you ask where bolts are, then wave vaguely down the length of the store and tell you its in aisle 13 or maybe 112...I think" concept. Great value there, yessir.

Anyhoo....

My friend went to buy some epoxy. As mentioned, Home Depot could not help him (grumble).

So, he went to Cloverdale Paint. And what did they tell him? That they could not sell him the epoxy because it was "too volatile". Now, since it was Halloween and the woman saying this to him was dressed up like a caveperson, it prompted him to say "are you serious?".

She was, sadly.

But, she told him, if he would just care to fill out a company registration form, he could have his epoxy right now! He had his choice: cash account or credit account.

My friend, being the honest soul he is, chose not to create a blantanly fake company and purchase his epoxy. Well done, sir.

But Cloverdale paints - really? You don't want the responsibiliy of selling this apparently "volatile" product to the general public so you just download that responsibilty to the consumer by allowing an immediate cash purchase as long as the customer can come up with a company?

Wait right here, Cloverdale paints lady! I'm going to go to my truck and totally...not...make up a bogus company and then come back in here. Not at all. Gotta go.

Enjoy your letter, Cloverdale. It's deserved.